Don't eat what your soul dosen't accepts..

Day before yesterday, We were at the small cafe. I ordered the chicken sandwich there and one of my friend came who was pure vegetarian. I said to him don't eat it. But he put that sandwich in the mouth.

So I don't know why??

I'm not feeling guilty. I want to feel guilty.

I also didn't apologies to him.

May be I should do him.

But after this I will not have courage to face him. So Lord what should I do?

Loose my friendship forever or just be the kind of fake friends?

And I have dream today, at 08:26 p.m.(that's the time when I woke up).

I saw that I, my school friend, and one of my friend from my colony, we were drinking, and I saw that he was cooking chicken(Isn't that weird) or it is that only I'm making it weird to appear.

I don't know..

He said that he has not eaten non-veg for the past 20 years.. and due to me I ate it..

I don't know..

About my mind.. I think it's weird..

very weird.

~Thank you

I wish I could give back your life..

Today, I visited Domino's with my ex-roommates probably my closest friends here..

Firstly, we get down at subway..eat our subs..

Then we felt that such we haven't ate anything. So one of my friend went to Domino's and there..as we were waiting for his orders to come. There I saw a lady of mid thirty's or early forty's there.She was beautifully dressed, wearing salwar suit.

I could see her eyes covered with eyeliner. I could see her face having mild make-up.

She reminds me of something. She was with her family. A joint family.

She went behind the table. She was standing and reading the views/comments of the people about Domino's. I didn't write any of my comment there.

May be I have written one. And she could have read it.

She was keeping herself busy with other activities, and not involving herself with family matters.

What was it that was worrying me?

May be reading the above lines you would feel that I was attracted towards her.

I wouldn't deny this also.

A mere spark of attraction was there. But it was not sexual.

That was a feeling of care. Care for the human.

I was afraid of talking to her. Afraid of this world. Afraid of what people might think.

I see feeling of depression in her face.

I could see she was forced to live such kind of life.

Life which she did not love.

I could see she was not happy.

I could see the fake smile on her face.

I don't wish to see this again.
Who likes to see this kind of smile?

I just wanted that she could have life what she wants.

I wish I could give back her life....

That Girl... In Yellow boots..

All this men, men of all ages, are pervert.. I don't know Why??

Why are they pervert?

Why are they so desperate to Fuck?

All they want is FUCK!! And that's all.

The father fucked her 15 year old daughter.

And she killed herself.

And then he wanted to have sex with her another daughter..

And he said that he loved his daughter..

This all world..

This men living in the world why do they want to have SEX?

What is the matter with their harmones?

Why cannot they say just NO to a woman who asks them??

The bastard, moron... was a regular customer to massage parlor and when he was asked to have a hand job.. he said YES... What if he could have just say NO..

That would made such a large difference..

If he is so much desperate to throw out his fluid... then why just he masturbates himself??

I don't think that to have sex should be banned.. or people who are reading must be thinking that I'm against sex..

but that's not.. I only want that do sex willingly without any bet or in exchange of something. And both the partners should agree to have sex.

sex is not done to throw out your frustration..

Sex should not be done against anyone's will.

A Pedicab Driver.

A Pedicab is also known as Rickshaw..

Yesterday around 5:30 p.m. I and my friend hired the rickshaw to visit the mall.

I talked to him..

He said that he is earning Rs. 3800 by working in hostel mess, and after that he drives the rickshaw..

I don't know how much he earn extra by driving rickshaw.. but I think probably 2000.

Then he told me that his first son died..Don't know how much years before he died.. but it is sad when someone is dead.

He said he lives in campus only on rent of Rs. 1000

He told us about his second son, he is small... because he was worried that how much would require when his son would study?

He told that his son was ill and he had spent a sum of Rs. 50,000 to Rs. 60,000 in his treatment.

He is in debt. Everyday prices are hiking.

That day I realized that "A person earns only that much in which his needs would be fulfilled"

But I'd like to rephrase this  above statement like this "A person adjusts his spending's and needs by his income, whatever he earns he has to adjust in that only"

I personally think that the earning of persons who does physical work and sweats should be more than the earning of person of who uses his mind.

I don't think that's going to happen!!

Society..

I don't know why people harm each and every one.. why do they hurt each other..

These all hypocrites..

People Don't do wrong.. Don't hurt anyone..

Why do you do such bad things to others.. And they in return why do they do bad things to others..

This chain this didn't going to break..

I really regret why did I grew up?

Why can't I remain child??

I'm growing up everyday... I think I'm not ready to face this SOCIETY.. this unreal SOCIETY.. full of lies..

Why are there partitions everywhere?

I want to live off this world but not this place..

I don't know that I'm living OR I'm dying each day.

but I know I'm growing each day.

A friend..

Today is 29 October 2011, and I'm returning to my college, to the hostel, all these days spent like a flash of light, I slept most of the time of the day. It is so amazing when you are in home with the family members. Now the time is 9 PM. I met my friend in my hometown. 2 hours ago a man of age between 50 to 60 was on the berth beside me and he was reading the diary which have quotes in Hindi.. And the poems. It was interesting to find that he was having such interest in reading poems written by him only. Today at 1 PM I met my friend Abhishek.. He is a good friend of mine.. But I don't know why he didn't like to meet his friends. He said he didn't like to show up. He said he have nothing to talk about. I don't want him to be like that. He represses his thoughts. I just want him to comeback, to become as he was earlier. He would be the same person if he would have been with me. But that's not possible. What I wrote just now, makes no sense... It's not worth for reading. But I just need to write like that.... I never wanted to express my thoughts by writing... I just like to tell someone, but may be he is not interested in the conversation. I know, you will feel like this someday.. When you have so much to express and no one is near you to listen..

Why do we celebrate??

Today is 26 Oct. 2011. And the biggest festival of India, "Diwali". I went to shop to buy crackers with my father. Why do we buy crackers?? To celebrate... But what is the reason to celebrate?? I don't have any reason to celebrate it. But i think it's just a tradition. To burn crackers and to produce sound. I see so many happy faces on this occasion. But that all thoughts..they are not disappearing out of my mind. I think i should stop seeing.. I see all the hypocrites. Its just weird. I think i should be isolated from the society. That surely means I do not have right to live in this world. This happy world. I need to get out this world. I really don't know what I'm going to do. Its so depressing. I'm feeling so depressed. I think its because I'm repressing too much. I just want to support people... I want to motivate them to some good. May be i will be able to motivate them, to do a good job. I just sleep some time because may be I'm afraid of facing the real world of liars, fake people, hypocrites.. I think sleeping recovers some of the energy. I feels sometime to be in sleep always. I'm becoming lazy and obsessed.

And I'll be never able to understand human nature, animals are better, they are not fake. They are good.